Friday, October 8, 2010

Truth (or Not) Revealed

-This was a fun post to put together.  Does that mean that truth bending comes way too easy to me?  Naaah, I like to think I’m just imaginative.  The truth is that most of them are partly true.  Let’s get down to the real story.

1. When I lived in Austin, Texas, in order to impress a hunky lifeguard I had a huge crush on at Garrison Pool, I decided to do a fancy dive off the diving board.  Everything went flawlessly until I hit the water and my bikini top came off.  To add insult to injury, I wear contact lenses so I couldn’t open my eyes under water in fear of loosing them.  I had to bring my head out of the water and look around the bottom of the pool for the suit, then swim back down to get it.  I never went back to Garrison Pool that summer.
The Real Deal:
I’ve never done anything flawlessly in my life.  The dive didn’t happen; therefore neither did the top falling.  There was a lifeguard in that pool I had a huge crush on but as it turned out, the looks were far better than the person.
2.   While at a semi-fancy restaurant, SKB #2 announced, “I have to crap”, loud enough for everyone to hear.  I was mortified but couldn’t stop laughing. 
The Real Deal:
SKB #2 did say that but luckily it was at home around our dinner table.  We laughed so hard; we had tears rolling out of our eyes.  Never a dull moment here.
4.   A lifetime ago, I worked in the administrative offices of a catering firm.  When they were short handed for servers, they would ask the administrative support staff if they were interested in working a particular party.  I have never been a very good waitress so I was only asked if they were REALLY desperate for help.  One time, I worked a ridiculously elaborate wedding that took place at Vizcaya Museum and Gardens in Miami.  As I was carrying a tray of beautifully presented dinner plates, my arms gave and the entire tray went on the table tumbling the flower vase almost causing a domino effect on the 15-foot long table.  I was never asked to work a party again.
The Real Deal:
I did drop the tray but it was before I got to where the tables were set up saving me from even more humiliation.  “… Vizcaya Museum & Gardens features a Main House, ten acres of formal gardens, and a rockland hammock (native forest).”  This means it’s a stretch between the kitchen and the main event.  They were heavy plates, ok?!
5.  I once followed a truck that was full of trash bags but also a pair of off-white couches just on the hunch they were on their way to the dumpster.  To my astonishment, they were.  I pulled up next to the guy driving right before pulling in the dump yard and offered to unload him of the couches.  He did.  Those couches are now in my living room.
The Real Deal:
Many of you thought this was the real deal.  I can see why.  I wouldn’t put it past me.  I got the couches from a sweet neighbor a few years ago.  But if I'd see this truck pulling into the dump site, I’d cut him off immediately!
6.  I was once breast-feeding in a Family Restroom along with another mommy who was breast-feeding her little girl.  She also had a very curious older boy who kept staring at my breasts.  He kept getting closer and closer by just walking around the sitting room and pretending to be playing with a toy car.  The mom never seemed to notice.  I was hormonal and annoyed so in one of the times that he got too close for comfort, I pulled my son off and squirted the little boy in the face.  That’ll show him! Perve!
The Real Deal:
Expect for the fact that I nursed my baby, there was no truth to this one at all.  But it made me laugh because I can be quite a “character” when I’m hormonal.  Just ask my husband.
That leaves #3!
3.  In the not too far past, I went to a nightclub and while dancing to Jay Sean’s Down, I actually fell down on the dance floor.  It was most embarrassing but even more embarrassing was being helped (by a REALLY handsome guy) to get up to only to have my knees give out and go right DOWN again!
The Realest Deal:
That’s right, I fell on the dance floor recently.  There’s a part of the song that goes “Baby are you down down down down down,
 Dowwwnnnnn, Dowwnnnnn”. Turns out that if you’re over a certain age and out of shape, you ain’t that down.  I take that back, bending the knees and going down is not bad.  Trying to do the same smooth move to pull back up can be a challenge.  That’s what I get for trying to do what the song said.  Hey, at least I wasn’t dancing to Ke$ha’s Take It Off!

Thank you for playing.  I’d like to pass this award to:
Cassie of Primitive & Proper
Cathy of The Far Fifty
Sunny of Life in Rehab

Thank you, ladies, for accepting the award.  I look forward to seeing what yall come up with.

And to start the weekend musicy like, here are the videos of the songs I was referring to.   Dance at your own risk.  I

Yanet  IIIII
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5 Sunny Notes:

Kendra@Creative Ambitions said...

Awww... I didn't get it right! I can just imagine how all that went down on the dance floor girl... Very funny!

Got my post up...
Thanks Yanet!


Anita @ GoingALittleCoastal said...

You are so funny! I love your descriptions as I can really picture you dancing :) Hey, you had fun and thats what counts.

zoo keeper said...


Teachinfourth said...

The first song, "Down," awesome...

Suzanne@Meridian Road said...

I was wrong! But that is funny! I did that once, but I was young and had no excuse.