Monday, May 13, 2013

Stuck in the Corner of Parenting and Am I Doing It Right?

When anyone asks me what I do for a living, my answer is 'I raise boys'. It might sound harsh to some that I see parenting as a job but raising children is work. Hard work. A 24-hour, 7-days a week job. No monetary reward and no real way of knowing if you're doing it right. 

In a job outside of the home, if you turn in a project to your boss or client, their feed back is your way of knowing if you're successful. In parenting, there's no real way of knowing if you're being a good parent until they're grown and by then it might be too late. 

Therefore, I am constantly questioning myself. Am I too soft? Am I too strict? Am I consistent? Do I yell too much? Do I not yell enough? (I'm pretty sure the kids think I yell too much.) For the most part, the boys are good. But there are times when they lash out and that's when the second guessing comes along. We are going through a testing stage in our house. A stage where they push my buttons and test their limits. 

When things don't go right, it can be overwhelming. To deal with this, I've started a journal. In it I write little things that the kids do "right". Simple things that I hear myself repeating to them over and over such as putting their plates in the sink, putting dirty clothes in the hamper, no fighting during dinner, or no back talk. I keep this journal for the nights that I go to bed ready to cry. I pull out my "Good Boy" journal and it helps calm my nerves.

What I've found is what I've known, but seeing in writing reaffirms, the good days outweigh the bad. 

How do you get through your rough days?

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2 Sunny Notes:

Renee said...

What a great idea--the journal! I agree, parenting is tough. However, after the teens years, come the adult years and when they say things such as "you were right" and "thanks", it makes it all worth it. My oldest is graduating college this weekend. Unbelievable.

Holly @ Down to Earth Style said...

A journal with good days recorded is a really great idea. Second guessing yourself as a mom is the worst feeling - even though I know even the friends who I think are wonderful parents still have that doubt, too. The fact that you think about it - is a huge sign that you are doing something right.